


A Lady's Secret

by Cyan (vehicroids)



Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 13:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17224622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vehicroids/pseuds/Cyan
Summary: Edna loved gossiping with Lailah about others' romantic lives. It wasn't as fun when it was Edna behind the glass.





	A Lady's Secret

Edna and Lailah had developed a little hobby in their travels. It started as people watching; they watched Sorey, Alisha and Mikleo interact, making whispered comments behind the trio’s back. It was good natured on Lailah’s end, less so on Edna’s, but there was nothing good natured about Edna.

For a little while, the main topic was Alisha and Sorey. There was definitely something there - puppy love, which would not last, but the feelings were still there. It was Edna who noticed Mikleo’s sour expression whenever Sorey and Alisha talked alone. It was Lailah who laughed about it first. They talked about it over leftover snacks, sitting alone while the trio talked amongst themselves.

“Do you think Mikleo even knows he’s doing it?” Edna asked Lailah in a hushed whisper.

Lailah glanced at Mikleo, sulking in a corner as he watched the other two. “I don’t think so.”

Humans - and Mikleo - were so dense. It made for a good viewing experience, paired with gossiping with Lailah. This was a sad soap opera with a terrible love triangle. Edna wasn't the type for romance, but this was funny to watch from a distance. It helped that she had a good partner in crime.

Alisha eventually left, but that did not stop Lailah and Edna from spending time together. While the boys talked, the girls were left alone. Edna preferred it this way; she prefered Lailah’s company to listening to the other two ramble about ruins, even if it meant listening to Lailah’s strange ramblings.

It was endearing, really. Lailah’s face lit up when she talked about Arma Dylan, even if Edna really wished that was never mentioned again. When she was particularly excited, she would clap her hands together and smile brightly. Even when she was excited, she retained her reserve - in a way, it was cute. Edna sort of envied that level of reserve, but at the same time, Edna was happy being Edna.

The boring thing the party consisting of just four people was there was only so much they could say in regards to Sorey and Mikleo. There were only so many times Edna nudge Lailah and tell her that Mikleo was touching Sorey’s arm.

Luckily for Edna, things got more interesting when Dezel and Rose joined the party.

Rose had told Sorey she was interested in him from the moment they’d met. Sorey, ever innocent, did not catch the meaning behind those words. Dezel and Mikleo, on the other hand, had noticed. Mikleo at least tried not to pout whenever Rose talked to Sorey - not that she could see him, but surely she could feel it. Dezel, however, made no secret of his distaste.

Edna kept her mouth shut for now, simply observing. She cast Lailah the occasional glance of  _ can you see what I see _ , and Lailah would smile in response. Sometimes, it would even coax a giggle out of Lailah, which made Edna feel a little too proud. What could she say? She had made the pretty girl laugh.

It was only in the evening with leftover snacks that Edna could go over the day’s events with Lailah. The humans were asleep, with their seraphim watching over them. With Mikleo, it was genuinely sweet. With Dezel, well… there was something unsettling with his feelings towards Rose. It was none of her business - and it never would be - but Dezel made her a little uncomfortable.

“Maybe I just don’t like wind seraphim,” Edna shrugged, taking a bite out of a leftover cookie.

That wasn’t true, either. She liked Zaveid, to a certain extent - not that he knew, and he would never know. It would get to his head, he would demand Edna to call him her brother, and she would rather die. She would also rather expel the thought of Zaveid out of her head.

“Dezel must have his reasons,” she said.

“And you don’t think it’s weird that he’s not telling us why he wants revenge.”

Lailah bit her lip. “You’re right, but at the same time, how do any of us know we won’t betray each other? You could admire part of his honesty.”

“Sure, but I can still be suspicious over what he’s not honest about. And if he tries to kill any of us, I get to say I told you so.”

Lailah smiled, nudging their shoulders together. “I expect nothing less.”

They were only lucky that Dezel had no ill intentions towards the group; all he wanted was Rose and armitisation. That did not mean Edna trusted him, but Rose seemed to trust him. Would she still if she knew? It was none of her business, but sometimes…

Dezel and Rose seemed to share a mutual attachment to each other. Dezel was more distant, while Rose was more clingy. Edna had lost count of the amount of times Rose had tried to climb Dezel like a vine. And yet, Rose still didn’t seem to know how Dezel felt about her. It didn’t help that he shoved her off, but the flush of his cheeks was pretty obvious.

Edna shot Lailah a pointed look while Rose was trying to climb onto Dezel for the fourth time that day, a look of  _ are you seeing this _ ? Lailah nodded with a little laugh. How could these people remain so dense?

“I hope you're not interested in any of these people,” Edna mumbled, twirling her umbrella so casually.

Lailah's cheeks flushed. “Of course not!”

Of course not. Lailah's heart was elsewhere still. She would never talk about it - even if she could, she wouldn't. Her heart belonged with a man who had died eighteen years ago, but when one was centuries old, that may as well have only been a year or so. Lailah couldn't let go of someone like Michael so easily, even if she wanted to.

He loved her just as much as Lailah loved him. If seraphim could marry humans, then Edna was certain they would have married. She had met him enough times, and she could describe him in one word: underwhelming. Edna was never fond of humans, and of course she was picky with her human company. It didn’t matter what Edna thought of Michael, not as long as Lailah loved him.

Edna was aware of his passing: word of the shepherd travelled quickly among seraphim. Her attempts to talk to Lailah about Michael were shut down with a change of subject, even before she had made her oath. Edna had so many questions - how much did Mikleo know, how much did any of them know about Lailah and Michael - but she didn’t want to encourage Lailah to break her oath. It would have only hurt Lailah.

And thus, this left Edna with an offshoot soap opera as they searched for Earthen Historia: the story of a seraph who loved a human, whose life had been cut tragically short. It was something worthy of an eye roll, all the way until Edna found Lailah in tears by herself after finding an Earthen Historia about Michael.

Lailah hasn't noticed her, not yet. She didn’t need to say anything. Edna sat down with her, umbrella in her lap, but Lailah didn’t react. She wiped her eyes with a quiet sniffle. Edna sighed quietly. Should she hug her? Edna didn’t know.

“I’m not gonna make you talk about him, because I know you can’t,” Edna said, glancing over at Lailah. “That’s why you’re crying, isn’t it?”

The lack of response told Edna everything; it must have been serious if Lailah couldn’t think of a pun. Lailah didn’t look at her, instead working on stopping the flow of tears.

“Are you okay?” Edna asked. It was a stupid question - obvious, really - but she didn’t know what else to say.

Lailah nodded, sniffling again. “Of course. I- my allergies…”

The pathetic excuse hung in the air between them, before splatting against the ground. Lailah looked down at her hands, bunching the fabric of her dress in her hands. Edna didn’t know how much she could say without stepping into oath-breaking territory. She wanted to help, but this required finesse. Emotional finesse was never her strong point.

“At least you can say you told someone you loved them. Those idiots are still dancing around it,” Edna scoffed.

Lailah finally laughed - it was short and ugly, laughing through tears, but it was a laugh. She covered her face, trying to hide her embarrassment, but it was in vain. She wiped her eyes with her arms, but still did not say anything.

“Thank you, Edna,” Lailah said.

“I didn’t do anything, but you’re welcome, I guess,” Edna said with a shrug.

Lailah grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. Normally, Edna would have told her to get off, but she had given up telling Lailah not to touch her a couple of centuries ago. Edna squeezed back.

“Do you mind sitting here for a little while? I’m not very good company, I’m afraid, but…”

But she didn’t want to be alone. Edna nodded.

“Whatever. It beats sitting with the others,” she said.

It was true - Edna would much rather sit with Lailah, even if she was upset. Lailah gave her a small smile, before leaning against her. She was heavy, but she was also warm. Very warm. Edna rested her head against Lailah; she was so comfortable. Edna did not let go of Lailah’s hands, whose fingers had woven into hers. Lailah probably needed the comfort.

Edna wondered if Lailah would have talked about it if there was no oath. Maybe not with Edna; she hadn’t made a secret of her disdain for the previous shepherd. She couldn’t help it. There was something about him that turned her stomach, and whenever she saw him, she felt anger bubble up inside. Edna never could explain her distaste: she chalked it up to him being human and left it at that.

Everyone had their own romantic pursuits, except for Edna. That suited her just fine.

There came a time when Lailah had stopped crying over Michael, but Edna didn’t doubt that it still hurt her. A casual mention of Michael made Edna flinch and glance over at Lailah, but she did not react. In fact, Edna had more of a reaction than Lailah did. Edna couldn’t help the concern she felt for Lailah; she took too much on by herself.

Sometimes, Edna wanted to tell them everything, but it wasn’t her place: it was better to remain an observer. She wondered if this was how the storyteller of time felt, but they had bigger secrets to carry than this, something more important than the shepherd and his band of hopeless romantics.

“Watching them again?” Lailah asked, sitting down with Edna.

“Have you seen the look in Mikleo’s eyes while Sorey’s talking to him? It’s like  _ Take me, I’m yours _ ,” Edna cooed. “Sorey wouldn’t notice it even if you beat him over the head with it.”

“True, but you can’t blame either of them when we’ve all had more important things on our minds,” Lailah said.

Right. Heldalf and the malevolence, the ever impending threat that was impossible to ignore. Still, even for a moment, it was nice to forget all of that and focus on something else. Maybe that was why Edna was so invested in this soap opera, but she could admit she needed a better hobby.

“I'm not blaming them, but if they're this dumb, then they'll be screwed for when it actually matters,” Edna said.

Lailah put a hand on her knee. “Or maybe it's different when it matters more.”

Edna doubted that, somehow.

She should not get involved. It wasn't any of her business, and yet somehow, she felt like it was. She couldn’t handle watching them act so clueless, when she knew they weren’t. It wasn’t her business, it  _ wasn’t _ , and yet she approached Mikleo with exactly that intention.

It was harder than Edna expected to get him alone. Mikleo could usually be found talking to Sorey, and Edna couldn’t interrupt that. When he was talking to Lailah, that was when Edna made her move.

“Mikleo,” she said, interrupting the conversation. “We need to talk.”

There was something about those four words that always struck fear in a man's heart. Mikleo - more boy than man - was no exception. He looked around, as if searching for an exit or an excuse, but he came up short. He sighed, defeated as he folded his arms over his chest.

He led Edna lead him away from the group: not far enough to be in danger, but not close enough for anyone to be in earshot. Finally, he turned to Edna, who stood away from her.

“What is it?” her asked, his tone more  _ caged animal _ than seraph.

“How long are you and Sorey gonna dance around this for?”

Mikleo's eyes widened and he gasped sharply, as if he had put his hand in scalding water. He turned away, his face blooming with a blush as he fought to explain himself with half formed buts and listens.

“I don't- what?” he finally bumbled out, which Edna supposed was as coherent as Mikleo was going to get.

“Take a chance. You two are old friends, aren’t you? Then he’ll get it,” Edna said plainly.

She stared up at him, unblinking, and Mikleo shifted uncomfortably. He rubbed his arm and laughed nervously, eyes still darting around for an opening. He looked back down at Edna when he realised there was no escape.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Take a chance - take a chance with  _ what _ ?” Mikleo said with a scoff.

“You really want me to spell it out? Fine. Everyone knows you’re into Sorey, and you’re being a baby about it.”

Mikleo’s cheeks burned brighter at the words. “It’s not like you and Lailah aren’t obvious! You’re just projecting your feelings onto me.”

Edna wanted to laugh at the words. Edna and Lailah? Please - she was still hung up over Michael. Stupid, plain, human Michael, who never deserved her. Pieces started to come together in her mind, and Edna did not like the picture they were showing her.

Edna turned on her heels, facing away from Mikleo who hummed in amusement. Suddenly, teasing about crushes was no longer funny. Mikleo was trying to mess with Edna, and it was working. Edna opened her umbrella and spun it as she tried to find something clever to say. Her brain fogged over and, for once, Edna was rendered speechless.

“No.”

That was the best Edna could come up with. She gripped the umbrella tightly, heat and panic rising up her body. She couldn’t believe Mikleo, of all people, was getting to her.

“I was kidding, but-”

“I said no.” Edna glared up at him. “There is nothing between us.”

Like Edna could forget the barriers that stood between them. If it wasn't lingering old feelings, then there was likely a rule against sub lord and prime lord couplings. Edna would never lay her heart bare, especially if there was a chance of it getting smashed. There was a reason Edna remained single her whole life.

It wasn’t as if it mattered. Edna did not have feelings for Lailah, no matter how much Mikleo tried to convince her otherwise.

“You're blushing,” he said.

Edna closed her umbrella, and Mikleo held up his arm defensively. For once, she decided not to whack him, but instead prod his ribs. Mikleo batted away her umbrella.

“Knock it off!”

“You started it,” she said.

“You're the one who came over here about my feelings for-” Mikleo caught himself. “I don't have feelings for him!”

Edna lowered her umbrella. “I didn't say anything this time, and you're still trying to defend yourself. The Meebo doth protest too much - Protest-leo.”

Mikleo whined, before casting a final look around them. Then, with a sigh, his shoulders sank.

“Who else knows?” he asked in a hushed voice.

“Lailah, but I think everyone else suspects it,” Edna said. “The only person who doesn’t know is Sorey.”

“Good. Please don’t say anything. I can’t tell him, it’s just- it’s weird. We grew up together,” Mikleo said.

“If I haven’t said anything so far, what makes you think I will now?” she asked.

He had every reason to believe she would; Edna was spiteful enough. However, she had no real reason to breach his trust. He could breach hers and tell Lailah about his non-discovery of feelings that weren’t there. The last thing Edna wanted was to make their friendship weird.

“I… Thanks, Edna.” Mikleo scratched his arm, glancing away.

Edna rolled her eyes in an attempt to deflect real emotion and a real connection. She poked him again, only for him to groan and try to bat her umbrella away again.

“Talk to him. Time flies, and by then, it might be too late, and he'll either die or find someone else,” Edna said. “”Don’t live with that regret.”

From the moments between Sorey and Rose, it was pretty clear what would happen first. That would require one of them to acknowledge how they feel first, and that wasn't going to happen. Mikleo still had time.

“Since when do you know so much about relationships?” Mikleo asked.

“Since I'm far older than you, and I've seen more. Plus, I'm not a total baby,” she said with a smirk.

“So it's got nothing to do with projecting your feelings for Lailah onto me.”

Mikleo had his warning. Edna whacked him in his face - not hard, but enough for him to shout in pain. He held his nose, glaring down at Edna, who lowered her umbrella.

“Even if there was anything, there’s no point. There’s a lot about Lailah that you don’t know and I won’t tell you,” Edna said.

“I can guess enough. Is it something with her oath?” Mikleo asked.

Edna paused. “You could call it an oath, sure.”

She wished she hadn’t said that, but Mikleo usually knew how to keep his mouth shut. As long as Edna didn’t give specifics, it was fine. It wasn’t a secret, in any case. It took Mikleo a moment to understand, but when he did, his jaw dropped. He leaned closer to whisper to Edna.

“So she’s-”

“Was, to an extent, yeah.” Edna sighed. “So even if there was something, there’s no chance.”

Mikleo was quiet. He looked at Edna, though it was different to the usual look of  _ petulant child _ or  _ perpetual annoyance _ ; she might even go as far as calling it respect. She shrunk away, hiding back under her umbrella. Mikleo reached out to touch her, but decided against it.

“Practice what you preach, Edna,” Mikleo said, before walking away.

“Don’t compare me to- I don’t like her,” she tried to say, but Mikleo was already out of earshot.

All Edna thought about after their conversation was if he could have been right. She told herself that he wasn’t, because he couldn’t have been. When Lailah smiled at her, she felt her heart stop. Of course, this was only because Mikleo had screwed with her head. Normally, she could talk to Lailah about it, but since she was the problem, Edna was left to her own thoughts.

She was not part of this messy drama - she did not have feelings for Lailah. Not sweet Lailah, with soft hair and a pretty smile. Not Lailah, whose voice was gentle and her words soothing. Definitely never Lailah, who understood Edna better than anyone else.

The realisation made Edna groan: she was just like everyone else. Edna had never been more disappointed in herself in her life.

Edna wanted to spend time with Lailah, despite her heart threatening to burst whenever Lailah talked to her. Had it always been like this? Had Edna simply lived in denial? How dense was Edna? How could she not-

“Edna?” Lailah asked, blinking at her. “Is something wrong?”

Lailah had been talking, and Edna had been ignoring her. She needed to get it together. Edna nodded, snapping herself from her thoughts.

“No, I’m fine. I don’t feel very well, that’s all,” Edna said.

“Oh, Edna,” Lailah sighed, pulling her in for an unwilling hug. “Is something on your mind?”

A mix of Mikleo and Lailah, but Edna wasn’t going to tell her. There was no explaining it. She remained limp in Lailah’s arms, waiting for the hug to end. Lailah pulled away, brushing stray hair for Edna’s face. She was never this physical - not as far as Edna could remember. It made her stomach tighten, and she wasn’t sure if that was good or not. Edna frowned at her.

“Stop touching me,” she said.

With a quiet oh, Lailah released her and stepped back. She smoothed out the folds of her dress, looking away from Edna. There she went again, pushing away people she cared about. Edna grit her teeth, before forcing herself to relax.

It was hard to relax when she felt eyes on her. Edna looked around; the rest of the party were around, out of earshot. None of them were looking at her. When she glanced back at Lailah, she felt eyes on her again. So Edna wasn’t the only one watching others. She wasn’t the only one who was making theories. Suddenly, people watching wasn’t so fun, not when she was the subject.

“I talked to Mikleo the other day,” Edna said, making no effort to lower her voice - if they wanted a show, they were going to get one. “You know, about Sorey.”

“Oh! How did that go?” Lailah asked.

Practice what you preach - Edna wanted to bat away the ghost Mikleo that haunted her conversations with Lailah. She just needed to play it cool. Or, at least get Lailah to reject her in the least painful way possible.

“He gave a sad excuse. They’re old friends, it would ruin everything, blah blah, yawn,” Edna rolled her eyes.

Lailah grabbed her skirt suddenly. “You don’t think he has a point?”

Of course he had a point, and that was why Edna was still dancing around this subject. Edna would never admit Mikleo was right, not even if it killed her.

“If you’re old friends, there shouldn’t be an excuse not to be honest,” Edna said. “If you’re scared of how they’ll react, you weren’t friends in the first place.”

Lailah turned deathly quiet. Edna had said the wrong thing, and water remained wet. She wasn’t wrong - at least, she didn’t feel like she was wrong - so she wasn’t going to apologise. She looked up at Lailah, but Lailah did not meet her gaze.

“Have you ever pursued a romantic interest?” Lailah asked, her voice unusually unsteady.

“Once, when I was younger and dumber. Why.”

“Really? I thought you and Mikleo-”

Edna grit her teeth. “No. Not in this lifetime.”

Mikleo was cute, and maybe in another setting, maybe. If Sorey didn’t exist, obviously. This wasn’t about Mikleo and Edna, though. Lailah smiled, and if Edna didn’t know any better, she would think Lailah was relieved. She couldn’t imagine why.

“You would only be setting yourself up for heartbreak,” Lailah said.

“Tell me about it. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who’s only thinking about someone else when we’re together,” Edna said.

Lailah tensed up again. Then, she grabbed Edna’s hands, her eyes burning with something she had never seen before. Edna gasped softly from surprise, unable to move. All she could do was stare into Lailah’s eyes. Lailah said nothing, like she was fighting with herself to speak and to keep her mouth shut at the same time. Edna blinked blankly.

“Maybe it wouldn't be like that! Maybe there would be the occasional thought, but you would be the focus!” Lailah said.

Her tone was so forceful that Edna leaned back. Her eyebrows rose, silently questioning Lailah. She let go, her cheeks pink, and held her hands over her skirt. What on earth had suddenly gotten into her? Then again, fire seraphim were always a strange bunch.

“If… if someone who had loved someone else were interested, of course,” she said, unsure.

Lailah had never been a good liar, despite her job requiring her to lie and omit things from others. Even for Lailah, this was suspicious. Edna closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before looking back up at her.

“Lailah, if you’re trying to say when I think you are, then don’t. It wasn't that long ago. You can't tell me you're over it.” Edna opened up her umbrella, hiding under it. “Not enough to try again.”

Edna couldn't lay her heart bare, no matter how much she did or did not want to. Even this much was too much. She heard Lailah sigh, but said nothing else. She could see Lailah's hands wring at her skirt. Of course Edna had made things weird. She couldn’t help herself.

“Is that what you think?” Lailah asked carefully.

Edna gripped her umbrella so tightly that she felt her fingers turn numb. She had come this far, so what was the harm in pushing further?

“Practice what you preach,” Edna said, “that’s what Mikleo told me.”

She turned away, and found that it was just them. No more prying eyes. The others afforded her at least that much - or they decided their own things were more important. It didn’t matter just then

“What I’m trying to say is I think have feelings for you.” Edna clicked her tongue, and tried again. “Why am I trying to lie? I know how I feel, I just don’t want it, because I know. I know why it can’t work.”

Lailah said nothing. Edna sighed, frustrated. What did she expect? Edna had made things weird, though hopefully they could laugh over this in a few years.

“Edna? Could you face me a moment, without the umbrella?” Lailah asked.

She didn’t want to, and if Lailah was anyone else, she would get a blunt  _ no  _ and Edna would walk away. Except this was Lailah, so Edna took down the umbrella. She didn’t turn to face Lailah, but she didn’t have to. Lailah stepped in front of her, and Edna was forced to look at her. There was nothing to fear - nothing but awkwardness, anyway.

They couldn’t really talk about this, not with the elephant - or rather, the oath - in the room. A lot of things remain unsaid, but Edna didn’t need Lailah to say anything. It was written on her face with her furrowed brow and bitten lip. Even if it wasn’t a rejection, it was enough, in Edna’s eyes.

“I’m not wrong, am I?” Edna asked.

Lailah shook her head. “You’re not. But… it isn’t like that, Edna.”

“Don’t force yourself to move on to make me happy or something,” Edna said.

“No, I’m not,” Lailah said, fiddling with the folds of her skirt. “I wish I knew what to do.”

It wasn’t like Edna knew, either. Romance was the one area Edna knew nothing about. Of course, it was a little more complicated when one took Lailah’s feelings into account. Edna wanted to pretend this never happened, quite frankly.

“There’s no rush, I don’t care either way,” Edna said. “It’s up to you.”

She didn’t want to rush Lailah - she would rather play it cool. She expected Lailah to do nothing, to pretend none of this ever happened. What she didn’t expect was for Lailah to reach out and grab her hand so softly that Edna wasn’t even sure they were touching. She didn’t expect Lailah to smile at Edna, even if it was an unsure smile.

“One step at a time,” Lailah said. “Right?”

Edna squeezed her hand. “Right.”

It might not lead anywhere, but it was something. They could figure this out together.

**Author's Note:**

> Since WHEN do I write one shots this big?? Well it's done. I love EdLai and I'm a disaster. Also this is basically "Cyan mentioning most of his fave ships in one go". Help
> 
> This ended up being a mess but I still kinda like it. This is the first F/F fic I've ever written God Damn
> 
> Anyway, come find me on [Tumblr](http://vehicroids.tumblr.com) || [Twitter](https://twitter.com/vehicroids/)


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